Twenty-two years ago, I was born dead in my trespasses and sins. However, growing up, it really didn’t feel like it.I grew up in a Christian home with Christian parents and Christian siblings. I’ve attended a Christian church since I was in the womb, and I went to a Christian school for thirteen years hanging around Christian friends who also grew up in Christian homes. As I child I only knew what it felt like to be a Christian, and if someone were to tell me that I was a desperate, hopeless sinner, I would have responded in ignorance, “No, I’m not. I’m a Christian.”
I remember one night when I was around seven years old, my mother sat down with me on my bed and asked me if I wanted to ask Jesus into my heart. Knowing that believing in Jesus was the only way to go to Heaven, I answered with an enthusiastic “Yes!” We prayed the sinner’s prayer together with me repeating each line after her. I remember thanking Jesus for dying for me and asking Him to come into my heart. Being only a little child, I really didn’t know what I was saying, and all I was doing was repeating words that I heard. After that night, I considered myself a Christian and even told my friends that I was one. However, throughout elementary and middle school, my life was marked by rebelliousness against God. Jesus was in no way my Lord. I was my own lord. I cared only about myself and did whatever I could to make myself happy. Among my favorite sins were lust, greed, and pride. During my middle school years I became greatly influenced by peer pressure. I wanted to look cool in front of my friends so that they would like me. I actually got quite good at pleasing man, and as my popularity grew so did my ego. I had no desire to turn from my sins and enjoyed the temporary satisfaction that they brought. However, I still believed that I was saved simply because I grew up in a Christian home and repeated that prayer with my mother when I was a child.
It wasn’t until the summer after my freshman year in high school that I truly understood what it meant to trust in Jesus Christ. For so many years I had identified with the title “Christian,” but only at a summer camp hosted by Chinese Bible Missions did I realize that Christians were those who repented of their sins and trusted in Christ. At the summer camp, my counselor took me aside and asked me, “Chris, if you were to die today, do you know for sure that you’d go to Heaven?” I hesitated to answer. I knew I could answer “yes” and back it up with the typical Sunday school answer if I wanted to. But the truth was that I wasn’t sure I was on my way to Heaven. My sin and rebellious lifestyle made me feel distant from God. Reluctantly, I answered that I wasn’t sure I was saved. My counselor then explained what it truly meant to follow Christ. For the first time, I understood that I was in a wretched state because I had not truly repented of my sins. I understood that Christ was my substitute who died for every single one of my sins, and if I would only trust in Him, He would forgive me of all of them. I realized that only Jesus could bridge the gap between a sinner like me and a Holy God. Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Knowing God’s immense love for me, holding onto my many sins and refusing to submit my life to the Lordship of Christ simply didn’t make any sense anymore. Why would I want to continue to commit the same sins that were the reason Jesus had to die on the cross? My God, who is rich in mercy, gave me the gift of salvation! What a Savior! And it is this Savior that I want to know more deeply and intimately each and every day.
This will be my third time in Japan, and I’m really excited for another opportunity to serve alongside those at Hamadera Bible Church. I consider them good friends and precious brothers and sisters. Although our conversations are often limited because of a language barrier, I know that we are knit together with one purpose: to glorify our Heavenly Father by proclaiming His Gospel to the lost souls in Japan.
I remember one night when I was around seven years old, my mother sat down with me on my bed and asked me if I wanted to ask Jesus into my heart. Knowing that believing in Jesus was the only way to go to Heaven, I answered with an enthusiastic “Yes!” We prayed the sinner’s prayer together with me repeating each line after her. I remember thanking Jesus for dying for me and asking Him to come into my heart. Being only a little child, I really didn’t know what I was saying, and all I was doing was repeating words that I heard. After that night, I considered myself a Christian and even told my friends that I was one. However, throughout elementary and middle school, my life was marked by rebelliousness against God. Jesus was in no way my Lord. I was my own lord. I cared only about myself and did whatever I could to make myself happy. Among my favorite sins were lust, greed, and pride. During my middle school years I became greatly influenced by peer pressure. I wanted to look cool in front of my friends so that they would like me. I actually got quite good at pleasing man, and as my popularity grew so did my ego. I had no desire to turn from my sins and enjoyed the temporary satisfaction that they brought. However, I still believed that I was saved simply because I grew up in a Christian home and repeated that prayer with my mother when I was a child.
It wasn’t until the summer after my freshman year in high school that I truly understood what it meant to trust in Jesus Christ. For so many years I had identified with the title “Christian,” but only at a summer camp hosted by Chinese Bible Missions did I realize that Christians were those who repented of their sins and trusted in Christ. At the summer camp, my counselor took me aside and asked me, “Chris, if you were to die today, do you know for sure that you’d go to Heaven?” I hesitated to answer. I knew I could answer “yes” and back it up with the typical Sunday school answer if I wanted to. But the truth was that I wasn’t sure I was on my way to Heaven. My sin and rebellious lifestyle made me feel distant from God. Reluctantly, I answered that I wasn’t sure I was saved. My counselor then explained what it truly meant to follow Christ. For the first time, I understood that I was in a wretched state because I had not truly repented of my sins. I understood that Christ was my substitute who died for every single one of my sins, and if I would only trust in Him, He would forgive me of all of them. I realized that only Jesus could bridge the gap between a sinner like me and a Holy God. Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Knowing God’s immense love for me, holding onto my many sins and refusing to submit my life to the Lordship of Christ simply didn’t make any sense anymore. Why would I want to continue to commit the same sins that were the reason Jesus had to die on the cross? My God, who is rich in mercy, gave me the gift of salvation! What a Savior! And it is this Savior that I want to know more deeply and intimately each and every day.
This will be my third time in Japan, and I’m really excited for another opportunity to serve alongside those at Hamadera Bible Church. I consider them good friends and precious brothers and sisters. Although our conversations are often limited because of a language barrier, I know that we are knit together with one purpose: to glorify our Heavenly Father by proclaiming His Gospel to the lost souls in Japan.