Twenty-one years ago, I was born dead in my trespasses and sins. However, it really didn’t feel like it.
I grew up in a Christian home with Christian parents and Christian siblings. I’ve attended a Christian church since I was in the womb, and I went to a Christian school for thirteen years hanging around Christian friends who also grew up in Christian homes.
Starting to get the picture?
I remember one night when I was around seven years old, my mother sat down with me on my bed and asked me if I wanted to ask Jesus into my heart. Knowing that believing in Jesus was the only way to go to Heaven, I answered with an enthusiastic “Yes!” We prayed the sinner’s prayer together with me repeating each line after her. I remember thanking Jesus for dying for me and asking Him to come into my heart. Being only a little child, I really didn’t know what I was saying, and all I was doing was repeating words that I heard. After that night, I considered myself a Christian and even told my friends that I was one. However, throughout elementary and middle school, my life was marked by rebelliousness against God. Jesus was in no way, shape or form my Lord. I was my own lord. I cared only about myself and did whatever I could to make myself happy. Among my favorite sins were lust, greed, and pride. During my middle school years I became greatly influenced by peer pressure wanting to please man so that they would like me. I actually got quite good at pleasing man, and as my popularity grew, so did my ego. I had no desire to turn from the sins I was indulging in and took pleasure in the darkness my soul was living in. However, I still believed that I was saved simply because I grew up in a Christian home and repeated that prayer with my mother.
It wasn’t until the summer after my freshman year in high school that I truly understood what it meant to be a Christian. For so many years I had identified with the title “Christian,” but only at this summer camp did I realize that Christians were those who committed their life to Christ. At a summer camp held by Chinese Bible Mission, my counselor took me aside and asked me, “Chris, if you were to die today, do you know for sure that you’d go to Heaven.” I hesitated to answer. I knew I could answer “yes” and back it up with the typical Sunday school answer if I wanted to. But the truth was that I wasn’t sure I was on my way to Heaven. My sin and rebellious lifestyle made me feel distant from God. Reluctantly, I answered that I wasn’t sure I was saved. My counselor then explained what it truly meant to be a Christian. For the first time, I understood the wretched state I was in because I had not truly repented of my sins. I stopped feeling great about the pleasures sin brought me and instead began to feel remorse over my sin. But this sense of grief was quickly replaced by great joy knowing that there was forgiveness for my sin. I realized that only Jesus could bridge the gap between a sinner like me and a Holy God. Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Despite the fact that I scorned God to His face for 15 years, He still sent Christ to die for me. Knowing God’s immense love for me, holding onto my many sins and refusing to submit my life to the Lordship of Christ simply didn’t make any sense anymore. Why would I want to continue to commit the same sins that were the reason Jesus had to die on the cross? My God, who is rich in mercy, gave me the gift of salvation! This truth fueled my decision to follow after Christ and to live my life solely for Him.
From that point on, I began putting to death the deeds of my flesh. I live confidently with the promise of grace that of Romans 6:14, which says, “For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law but under grace.” I’m still a sinner, but no longer dead in my sin. In fact, I’m dead to sin. God has made me alive to Him, and I’m a new creation who desires to know Him and to make Him known. I know that when I go and meet Him, it will be glorious. But for now, I strive to be my Lord’s bondservant, serving and loving Him because He first loved me. I live my life with great joy because I know that although I could never earn salvation on my own, I am accepted by God because I am clothed in righteousness of Christ.
I grew up in a Christian home with Christian parents and Christian siblings. I’ve attended a Christian church since I was in the womb, and I went to a Christian school for thirteen years hanging around Christian friends who also grew up in Christian homes.
Starting to get the picture?
I remember one night when I was around seven years old, my mother sat down with me on my bed and asked me if I wanted to ask Jesus into my heart. Knowing that believing in Jesus was the only way to go to Heaven, I answered with an enthusiastic “Yes!” We prayed the sinner’s prayer together with me repeating each line after her. I remember thanking Jesus for dying for me and asking Him to come into my heart. Being only a little child, I really didn’t know what I was saying, and all I was doing was repeating words that I heard. After that night, I considered myself a Christian and even told my friends that I was one. However, throughout elementary and middle school, my life was marked by rebelliousness against God. Jesus was in no way, shape or form my Lord. I was my own lord. I cared only about myself and did whatever I could to make myself happy. Among my favorite sins were lust, greed, and pride. During my middle school years I became greatly influenced by peer pressure wanting to please man so that they would like me. I actually got quite good at pleasing man, and as my popularity grew, so did my ego. I had no desire to turn from the sins I was indulging in and took pleasure in the darkness my soul was living in. However, I still believed that I was saved simply because I grew up in a Christian home and repeated that prayer with my mother.
It wasn’t until the summer after my freshman year in high school that I truly understood what it meant to be a Christian. For so many years I had identified with the title “Christian,” but only at this summer camp did I realize that Christians were those who committed their life to Christ. At a summer camp held by Chinese Bible Mission, my counselor took me aside and asked me, “Chris, if you were to die today, do you know for sure that you’d go to Heaven.” I hesitated to answer. I knew I could answer “yes” and back it up with the typical Sunday school answer if I wanted to. But the truth was that I wasn’t sure I was on my way to Heaven. My sin and rebellious lifestyle made me feel distant from God. Reluctantly, I answered that I wasn’t sure I was saved. My counselor then explained what it truly meant to be a Christian. For the first time, I understood the wretched state I was in because I had not truly repented of my sins. I stopped feeling great about the pleasures sin brought me and instead began to feel remorse over my sin. But this sense of grief was quickly replaced by great joy knowing that there was forgiveness for my sin. I realized that only Jesus could bridge the gap between a sinner like me and a Holy God. Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Despite the fact that I scorned God to His face for 15 years, He still sent Christ to die for me. Knowing God’s immense love for me, holding onto my many sins and refusing to submit my life to the Lordship of Christ simply didn’t make any sense anymore. Why would I want to continue to commit the same sins that were the reason Jesus had to die on the cross? My God, who is rich in mercy, gave me the gift of salvation! This truth fueled my decision to follow after Christ and to live my life solely for Him.
From that point on, I began putting to death the deeds of my flesh. I live confidently with the promise of grace that of Romans 6:14, which says, “For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law but under grace.” I’m still a sinner, but no longer dead in my sin. In fact, I’m dead to sin. God has made me alive to Him, and I’m a new creation who desires to know Him and to make Him known. I know that when I go and meet Him, it will be glorious. But for now, I strive to be my Lord’s bondservant, serving and loving Him because He first loved me. I live my life with great joy because I know that although I could never earn salvation on my own, I am accepted by God because I am clothed in righteousness of Christ.