Hi! My name is Hannah Chan. I grew up in northern California living with my parents, older brother, and grandparents. I am really blessed to have Christian parents who took me to church and weeknight fellowship every week, taught me Bible stories, made me memorize scripture, and taught me what was right and wrong. My grandfather lives with us, and was a very hard atheist and hated any pleas for him to come to church or to hear the gospel. As such, I grew up watching his anger at God and Christianity, as well as watching my parents be rejected and yelled at again and again for their faith and attempts to plead with him to consider God. My parents' example was extremely formative for me. They never talked back to my grandfather, but instead turned to prayer. Our parents taught us to pray together for his salvation every day.
Though I had this wonderful example and understanding that God was to be feared (at least, more than my grandfather), I still had a basic understanding of the gospel. As a child, I feared hell and prayed "the sinners' prayer" countless times throughout elementary/middle school. My heart, words, and attitudes were usually prideful, hateful, and I let my passions rule me. I was never unselfish and always thought of my interests above others'. As I matured in the church, I recognized my great pride and hate, and it amazed me that God loved me. I realized that only a life that followed Christ would have any value. At my baptism in middle school, I made a public profession that I had the beginnings of a changed life and that I would follow Him wherever He would lead. As I tried to live the Christian life in high school, I realized I was hindered by my great worries about school and career. Seeing that I still had not let go of my grip on my future, I slowly realized I needed to confess God as Lord of all my life, including my career, and I needed to trust Him to lead me in everything. I surrendered my career and future to Him in prayer one night after my freshman year in high school!
Since salvation, I have truly been kept by the grace and love of God. During high school I was a very young and weak Christian. In my sophomore year, my two best friends graduated and moved on to college. It was very difficult in the months before this to cope with the change because I had put so much hope into these friendships. I fell into a very depressed condition as I came to grips with the fleetingness of life and endless change. I could not understand what the point of living life was if I knew I was going to die in the end. Pursuing sanctification with the knowledge that I would never become perfect in this life, as well as seeing myself fall into the same sin day after day, made me doubt God's power, will, and goodness. There were times when I even angrily told my friends that I did not want to follow Christ anymore and it was not worth being His sheep, since it seemed that it would go nowhere. I don't know the reason, but only by His amazing grace, I kept reading the Bible. The Lord put in my heart a spirit that was stubborn to find verses to help me! It was my time in the Word over the next one and a half years that God used to heal, correct and teach my soul. Slowly, God's steadfast love became real to me as I sought relief in His Word for my hurting soul. I started really knowing Jesus is real and realizing the implications the reality of the cross have on my life. Slowly, I learned the practice of disciplining my mind with simple truths and memorizing Scripture. From there, the Lord placed very special people into my life to deepen my understanding of the gospel such as the doctrine of depravity and election, and connected me with Grace Community Church and its on-campus ministry at UCLA when I began college. These doctrines and this church have strengthened me immensely as a believer! There is an unending joy because of the security I have being in Christ! I have peace in every situation. I strive to live holy and self-controlled, and be careful with my tongue, though I still sin every day. Sin now grieves me and I am learning to hate it. I evangelize, and desire to know Jesus Christ more. I am learning to make the decisions that please God, desiring and loving to do what I was made for- to bring Him glory!
Though I had this wonderful example and understanding that God was to be feared (at least, more than my grandfather), I still had a basic understanding of the gospel. As a child, I feared hell and prayed "the sinners' prayer" countless times throughout elementary/middle school. My heart, words, and attitudes were usually prideful, hateful, and I let my passions rule me. I was never unselfish and always thought of my interests above others'. As I matured in the church, I recognized my great pride and hate, and it amazed me that God loved me. I realized that only a life that followed Christ would have any value. At my baptism in middle school, I made a public profession that I had the beginnings of a changed life and that I would follow Him wherever He would lead. As I tried to live the Christian life in high school, I realized I was hindered by my great worries about school and career. Seeing that I still had not let go of my grip on my future, I slowly realized I needed to confess God as Lord of all my life, including my career, and I needed to trust Him to lead me in everything. I surrendered my career and future to Him in prayer one night after my freshman year in high school!
Since salvation, I have truly been kept by the grace and love of God. During high school I was a very young and weak Christian. In my sophomore year, my two best friends graduated and moved on to college. It was very difficult in the months before this to cope with the change because I had put so much hope into these friendships. I fell into a very depressed condition as I came to grips with the fleetingness of life and endless change. I could not understand what the point of living life was if I knew I was going to die in the end. Pursuing sanctification with the knowledge that I would never become perfect in this life, as well as seeing myself fall into the same sin day after day, made me doubt God's power, will, and goodness. There were times when I even angrily told my friends that I did not want to follow Christ anymore and it was not worth being His sheep, since it seemed that it would go nowhere. I don't know the reason, but only by His amazing grace, I kept reading the Bible. The Lord put in my heart a spirit that was stubborn to find verses to help me! It was my time in the Word over the next one and a half years that God used to heal, correct and teach my soul. Slowly, God's steadfast love became real to me as I sought relief in His Word for my hurting soul. I started really knowing Jesus is real and realizing the implications the reality of the cross have on my life. Slowly, I learned the practice of disciplining my mind with simple truths and memorizing Scripture. From there, the Lord placed very special people into my life to deepen my understanding of the gospel such as the doctrine of depravity and election, and connected me with Grace Community Church and its on-campus ministry at UCLA when I began college. These doctrines and this church have strengthened me immensely as a believer! There is an unending joy because of the security I have being in Christ! I have peace in every situation. I strive to live holy and self-controlled, and be careful with my tongue, though I still sin every day. Sin now grieves me and I am learning to hate it. I evangelize, and desire to know Jesus Christ more. I am learning to make the decisions that please God, desiring and loving to do what I was made for- to bring Him glory!