“But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved)” (Ephesians2:4-5).
When my parents came to America from Taiwan, they became involved with church. My mom was a professing believer when she lived in Taiwan, and my dad also confessed to know Christ when they were attending church in California. They were involved much in church activities. My older brother attended a Christian pre-school, and my dad even served as a deacon of a Chinese church. However, after I was born, my family moved to a small, suburban neighborhood in Southern California and did not bother to find a new church in the area.
Thus, I did not grow up with any knowledge of the Bible, except the few stories children growing up in America typically know. I believed I was a Christian because my mom said she was one. I remember telling my elementary school friends, “I’m a Christian, but I don’t go to church or anything like that.” However, there was a family of believers in my extended family whom I went with to church a handful of times throughout elementary school. But those times I went to church were horrible! I hated church; it was too cold and too boring!
When I was in middle school, my cousins were baptized. Our family went to attend their baptism. I remember that I cried while my cousins gave their testimonies. I’m not sure if I was even listening that much to what they were saying, but I remember using a ridiculous amount of tissues. At the time, I didn’t know why I was crying or what I was feeling, but looking back, I think I knew that there existed a truth and I knew that I didn’t know it. I think I knew that I was a sinner, but didn’t know anything past that point. I went back home that day, wiped by tears, and continued my life as if nothing had happened.
While I was going through it, I thought Middle School was the best thing ever. It was so much fun for me, and I had a lot of friends to hang out with. However, looking back, I am utterly disgusted by the sins that I was in love with at the time. Paul tells believers that they are “dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry. For it is because of these things that the wrath of God will come upon the sons of disobedience” (Colossians 3:5-6) During eighth grade, I was definitely dead in those sins exactly. I loved the world and everything that it had to offer.
The summer before I entered high school, my cousins signed me up for a retreat with their church. I definitely did not want to go. My mom told me that I did not have to go if I didn’t want to. The few times that I had gone to church in elementary school, I disliked the service as well as the kids. It’s not exactly the coolest thing to go to church either, so I definitely thought I was too cool to go to the retreat. I even had a boyfriend at the time telling me not to go to retreat because he’d miss me! (Note: the retreat is only 2 ½ days). Well, with all these factors working against the retreat, I went anyway. I don’t know why I went to the retreat, but only that it was God’s grace. There was no logical reason for me to go, but there I was. Praise the Lord for working it out like that so I could never have reason to say that I saved myself, or that it was my own works that did anything to save me. God brought me to that retreat in His sovereign plan.
The retreat was the first time I encountered Christians in such an intimate way. It was the first time I really heard about Jesus or met so many people who talked about God. I felt very awkward as we sang the songs, and I would open my eyes when we prayed to make sure people around me still had their eyes closed too. I was pretty embarrassed that I did not know where the books of the Bible were or that I was not familiar with the things the other kids were familiar with. I was in a small group where they went around and shared their favorite verses, and I didn’t know people even had favorite verses! Everybody was very friendly, however, so after retreat I started attending church so I could have more friends.
I went semi-regularly to church my freshman year of high school, but I do not know how much of the gospel I understood at that time. In the middle of that year, I was blessed with a youth pastor who preached the Word of God faithfully. Under his teaching, I learned to have a high view of God and a low view of man, I grew to cherish the Bible as the ultimate authority, and I gained a clear understanding of the gospel. The Lord graciously brought me to true repentance my sophomore year of high school. I turned away from my sin and turned toward God. I had heard the words “sin” and “repentance” for months, but I had not really grasped what those words meant: that all are sinners, all deserve hell, but there is salvation is Christ, and in Him alone. Up until then, I thought I was a Christian, but I did not have a hatred of sin and a desire for holiness until this time. I was baptized my junior year of high school and have been striving to follow Christ since!
“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come” (2Corinthians 4:17).
When my parents came to America from Taiwan, they became involved with church. My mom was a professing believer when she lived in Taiwan, and my dad also confessed to know Christ when they were attending church in California. They were involved much in church activities. My older brother attended a Christian pre-school, and my dad even served as a deacon of a Chinese church. However, after I was born, my family moved to a small, suburban neighborhood in Southern California and did not bother to find a new church in the area.
Thus, I did not grow up with any knowledge of the Bible, except the few stories children growing up in America typically know. I believed I was a Christian because my mom said she was one. I remember telling my elementary school friends, “I’m a Christian, but I don’t go to church or anything like that.” However, there was a family of believers in my extended family whom I went with to church a handful of times throughout elementary school. But those times I went to church were horrible! I hated church; it was too cold and too boring!
When I was in middle school, my cousins were baptized. Our family went to attend their baptism. I remember that I cried while my cousins gave their testimonies. I’m not sure if I was even listening that much to what they were saying, but I remember using a ridiculous amount of tissues. At the time, I didn’t know why I was crying or what I was feeling, but looking back, I think I knew that there existed a truth and I knew that I didn’t know it. I think I knew that I was a sinner, but didn’t know anything past that point. I went back home that day, wiped by tears, and continued my life as if nothing had happened.
While I was going through it, I thought Middle School was the best thing ever. It was so much fun for me, and I had a lot of friends to hang out with. However, looking back, I am utterly disgusted by the sins that I was in love with at the time. Paul tells believers that they are “dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry. For it is because of these things that the wrath of God will come upon the sons of disobedience” (Colossians 3:5-6) During eighth grade, I was definitely dead in those sins exactly. I loved the world and everything that it had to offer.
The summer before I entered high school, my cousins signed me up for a retreat with their church. I definitely did not want to go. My mom told me that I did not have to go if I didn’t want to. The few times that I had gone to church in elementary school, I disliked the service as well as the kids. It’s not exactly the coolest thing to go to church either, so I definitely thought I was too cool to go to the retreat. I even had a boyfriend at the time telling me not to go to retreat because he’d miss me! (Note: the retreat is only 2 ½ days). Well, with all these factors working against the retreat, I went anyway. I don’t know why I went to the retreat, but only that it was God’s grace. There was no logical reason for me to go, but there I was. Praise the Lord for working it out like that so I could never have reason to say that I saved myself, or that it was my own works that did anything to save me. God brought me to that retreat in His sovereign plan.
The retreat was the first time I encountered Christians in such an intimate way. It was the first time I really heard about Jesus or met so many people who talked about God. I felt very awkward as we sang the songs, and I would open my eyes when we prayed to make sure people around me still had their eyes closed too. I was pretty embarrassed that I did not know where the books of the Bible were or that I was not familiar with the things the other kids were familiar with. I was in a small group where they went around and shared their favorite verses, and I didn’t know people even had favorite verses! Everybody was very friendly, however, so after retreat I started attending church so I could have more friends.
I went semi-regularly to church my freshman year of high school, but I do not know how much of the gospel I understood at that time. In the middle of that year, I was blessed with a youth pastor who preached the Word of God faithfully. Under his teaching, I learned to have a high view of God and a low view of man, I grew to cherish the Bible as the ultimate authority, and I gained a clear understanding of the gospel. The Lord graciously brought me to true repentance my sophomore year of high school. I turned away from my sin and turned toward God. I had heard the words “sin” and “repentance” for months, but I had not really grasped what those words meant: that all are sinners, all deserve hell, but there is salvation is Christ, and in Him alone. Up until then, I thought I was a Christian, but I did not have a hatred of sin and a desire for holiness until this time. I was baptized my junior year of high school and have been striving to follow Christ since!
“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come” (2Corinthians 4:17).