I don’t remember ever not going to church, so I think it’s safe to say that I started attending church before I was even born. I remember praying with my mom one night in first or second grade and accepting Jesus Christ as my Savior. I am thankful that I grew up in a Christian home and in the church and never really doubted that God and the Gospel are real. Throughout elementary school, middle school, and most of high school, I did what I thought Christians did – I was a “good kid”, got good grades, listened to my parents (most of the time), went to church, and read my Bible and prayed once in a while. But in reality, all of these things were merely behavior modifications and I did not really understand what it meant for Christ to not just be my Savior, but the Lord of my life.
Despite knowing Bible stories from Sunday School, my understanding of God’s character was shallow. My desire to be the best at everything and to have a good reputation among my peers was a reflection of my very selfish and prideful heart. Going to church was only enjoyable because my friends were there, and I did not think that reading my Bible was necessary – because obviously I already knew everything. There were a few times after church retreats where I would resolve to read my Bible every day, but those spiritual highs always faded away as the busy-ness of school and life kicked in.
Near the end of high school, God allowed me to realize that I was indeed a sinner in need of His grace, and no matter how many “good things” I did I could not meet His standard of perfection on my own. I knew I couldn’t act one way at church and another way at school. He was slowly but surely breaking down my pride, and I didn’t like it! God was becoming a bigger part of my life, but I still put academics, friends, and earthly possessions above Him on my checklist. I prioritized spending time with God only when it was convenient for me, or when I needed something from Him. My view of God was very self-centered, and I was more concerned with what God could do for me than with how I could be living for Him.
Entering college was a turning point in my walk with the Lord. Joining a small group at Grace on Campus provided accountability in ways that I didn’t always appreciate at the time, but looking back it was definitely an evidence of God’s grace. My small group leader showed me an article titled “Drinking Orange Juice to the Glory of God”, which challenged me to think about what the glory of God was and what it really meant to do ALL THINGS to the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31) – not to my own glory! God has graciously grown my understanding of the Gospel and what it looks like to follow Christ and have a relationship with Him. He is no longer just a point at the bottom of my checklist, but the Lord of my entire life. Fighting sin and pursuing holiness is a daily struggle, but I am thankful that the Lord is patient with and gracious toward me even when I fall short of His standard. God alone is worthy of all my worship and all the glory because He sent His Son to die in my place and I am no longer a slave to sin! What good news!
Despite knowing Bible stories from Sunday School, my understanding of God’s character was shallow. My desire to be the best at everything and to have a good reputation among my peers was a reflection of my very selfish and prideful heart. Going to church was only enjoyable because my friends were there, and I did not think that reading my Bible was necessary – because obviously I already knew everything. There were a few times after church retreats where I would resolve to read my Bible every day, but those spiritual highs always faded away as the busy-ness of school and life kicked in.
Near the end of high school, God allowed me to realize that I was indeed a sinner in need of His grace, and no matter how many “good things” I did I could not meet His standard of perfection on my own. I knew I couldn’t act one way at church and another way at school. He was slowly but surely breaking down my pride, and I didn’t like it! God was becoming a bigger part of my life, but I still put academics, friends, and earthly possessions above Him on my checklist. I prioritized spending time with God only when it was convenient for me, or when I needed something from Him. My view of God was very self-centered, and I was more concerned with what God could do for me than with how I could be living for Him.
Entering college was a turning point in my walk with the Lord. Joining a small group at Grace on Campus provided accountability in ways that I didn’t always appreciate at the time, but looking back it was definitely an evidence of God’s grace. My small group leader showed me an article titled “Drinking Orange Juice to the Glory of God”, which challenged me to think about what the glory of God was and what it really meant to do ALL THINGS to the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31) – not to my own glory! God has graciously grown my understanding of the Gospel and what it looks like to follow Christ and have a relationship with Him. He is no longer just a point at the bottom of my checklist, but the Lord of my entire life. Fighting sin and pursuing holiness is a daily struggle, but I am thankful that the Lord is patient with and gracious toward me even when I fall short of His standard. God alone is worthy of all my worship and all the glory because He sent His Son to die in my place and I am no longer a slave to sin! What good news!